Proposing To More Than One Woman

September 4, 2010

1.1K

709

Question

Questions about the Islamic etiquettes when a man sends a marriage proposal to a girl:

Is he allowed to send proposals to many girls at the same time?

If the marriage proposal has been accepted by one girl and discussions between families are proceeding, is it allowed for him and his family to proceed with a proposal and a marriage with another girl without telling the first girl?

Answered by: Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf

Assalamu alaykum

In the name of Allah the Inspirer of truth.

One should proceed carefully in this regard. It is not permissible to cause undue grief to another Muslim. Therefore, proposals should be made carefully.

Although it cannot be considered impermissible to propose to more than one girl at one time, however, since it could lead to many hurt feelings in the family and community, it would be discouraged.

In the case that a person has already proposed to one and discussions are on, thereafter another good opportunity come up, it would be permissible to make a second proposal as well. However, it would be a good idea to let the first know that there is another proposal.

Experience shows that the best course to follow when proposing to someone is to find out as much as possible about the person before actually proposing. This way there are less chances of rejections and broken hearts.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam
Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf

Click to rate this post!

[Total: 0 Average: 0]

Dr. Mufti Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf

Dr. Shaykh Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera is a British Muslim scholar educated in both the Islamic and Western traditions. He memorised the Qur’an by heart and graduated from the Darul Uloom seminary Bury, UK, and later earned a specialised licence to issue fatwa (legal responses) at Mazahir ‘Ulum Saharanpur, India. He earned his BA from the University of Johannesburg and completed his MA and PhD in Islamic Studies from the School of Oriental and African Studies in London. He holds an honorary fellowship at The Royal Aal al-Bayt Institute for Islamic Thought, Amman, Jordan. Shaykh Abdur-Rahman has the unique experience of serving as an imam in Muslim communities on both sides of the Atlantic, eight years in Southern California and over five in the great city of London—and his continued work as an international speaker and lecturer enables him to address and offer pertinent advice on current challenges that face Muslims in the West. He is the founder of Whitethread Institute, a post-graduate insititute for Islamic scholars. He is an avid traveller and continues to teach hadith and work on scholarly publications through White Thread Press (www.whitethreadpress.com). Many of his lectures are available on www.zamzamacademy.com and his courses through Rayyan Institute (www.rayyaninstitute.com).